JADAR

★★★★★

A week after Glastonbury, a brand-new musical festival was launched: Brit Fest. A three-day festival in Altrincham, the first day was made up mostly of indie-pop bands (headlined by Scouting for Girls), the second day was made up of 80s acts (headlined by Bonnie Tyler), whilst the third and final day had a more musically diverse line-up (headlined by Heather Small of M People). We only attended the Saturday (I just turned 25 and can’t hack it anymore – I round up to 30!).

The festival had more to offer than just music. As well as the main stage, there was a smaller stage with a nice variety of acts, including a DJ. There was a fairground (for the kids – it’s a family-friendly festival), activities, camping and glamping, international cuisine, and more.

We spent the entire day at the main stage (I wasn’t willing to miss a single one of the legendary acts).

Fortunately, the organisers thought carefully about the timings. Some acts were one-after-the-other but others had a sizable break in between them, allowing attendees to use the loos, get food, explore other areas of the grounds, etc.

Jenny Powell and Mike Toolan hosted the festival, introducing each act and occasionally having a chat with the audience, playing games, etc.

First to grace the stage was Hot Chocolate. The iconic Errol Brown MBE is long dead but new lead singer Kennie Simon is a great showman who would make Errol proud.

Whilst some other nostalgia festivals shamelessly include acts who are not actually the original performers (e.g. Livin’ Joy), Hot Chocolate is mostly made up of original members, and Kennie made clear that he is not Errol (after introducing the other members, he said, “And if you think I’m Errol, you need to go to Specsavers”).

Hot Chocolate were on for about an hour before a break, in which Samba Espirito (a massive samba drumming band) filled the grass. They were all emblazoned with Union flags but their music transported us to Brazil.

Owen Paul’s set was much shorter – a fun cover of Simple Minds’ ‘Don’t You (Forget About Me)’ was followed by his hit song ‘My Favourite Waste of Time’ (itself a cover).

Again, a good example of the organisers’ thoughtful organisation: following up a long opening set with a bunch of smaller sets. However, the crowd seemed a bit confused by Paul’s short set – three songs is usually the minimum number of songs performed by artists at festivals.

T’Pau’s Carol Decker filled the open air with a voice so powerful that it could shatter your finest china (in your hand!).

The redhead representation continued with Sonia, who, alongside some of her hits, sang ‘Hopelessly Devoted to You’, which she had released as a single after playing Sandy in Grease in the West End. Whilst her cover was not a chart hit, many people remember her playing Sandy, and it’s such an anthemic karaoke song that it’s perfect for a festival – Sonia knows how to work a crowd!

‘80s heartthrob Paul Young, who I previously saw open for Cher (the first music event I ever reviewed!), had one of the biggest crowds. He can’t sing like he used to but it doesn’t really matter; his songs are so good, and he’s so likable, that you just sing along. Interestingly, most of his hits were covers – indeed, all five of the songs he sang at Brit Fest were – but he made them his own.

His backing singers were, once again, two young women, which looks a bit odd, but the women can certainly sing – however, some of the “choreography” was a bit awkward.

The Real Thing delivered one of the most entertaining sets of the day. They even brought some of the crew, and even an especially excited Jenny Powell, out into the space between the crowd and the stage.

Deniece Pearson sang some of Five Stars’ biggest numbers (some of their many hits!), sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to anyone whose birthday it was (random!), and a snippet of Whitney Houston’s ‘I Will Always Love You’ (showoff!). It’s not usually so clever to cover Whitney but Deniece can sing. And dance. What a woman!

Nik Kershaw was very entertaining, and it was smart to sing Chesney Hawkes’ ‘The One and Only’, which he wrote and produced, alongside his own songs.

The penultimate act was the wonderful Kim Wilde – herself worthy of a headliner slot – who possibly had the longest set of the night, yet it was still not long enough to get through all her hits (fortunately, I got to review her previous UK tour).

She, of course, ended her superb set with ‘Kids in America’, which transported this very English audience, who had already been to Brazil, to the US of A.

However, Samba Espirito then returned, this time performing at the side of the stage, forcing us right back to Brazil.

As day turned to night, headliner Bonnie Tyler arrived onstage. Bonnie, surprisingly, only had a few major hits, and she sang four of them, alongside some of her less-known songs and a brilliant cover of ‘The Best’ (a heartfelt tribute to Tina Turner, who Bonnie admitted to having been inspired by). Bonnie might be a “diva” but she’s also so normal – just a loveable, older, Welsh lady, really.

She, unsurprisingly, can’t sing quite like she used to – she’s in her 70s (though looks amazing) – but she gave it her all, and the crowd gave it right back. ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’, in which thousands of people sang alongside the original artist, was, quite possibly, the best experience I have ever had at a music event, even beating Belinda Carlisle singing ‘Heaven Is a Place on Earth’.

Whilst Bonnie planned to do a two-song encore, and began introducing ‘Turtle Blues’ by asking us if we liked the blues, she was told that there wasn’t time, so she moved on to her other major hit – one of the most major hits of all time – ‘Holding Out for a Hero’.

“Shrek!” exclaimed my friend, who had no idea who Bonnie, or any of the acts, for that matter – were, but is a good sport who is always up for a good time.

That’s exactly what Brit Fest is. The best of times. Don’t let “fest” put you off – it is, by no means, a traditional festival. It’s not manic or muddy (it rained a little but the ground is solid).

On the contrary, it’s marvellously middle-class – it’s Cheshire, darling (well, Altrincham likes to think it’s Cheshire anyway). We kept walking to and from the stage, and every single time, we managed to get near to the front of the stage, without anybody infringing upon our personal space. Many patrons turned up with camping chairs. The food was actual food, and there were even sweet treats on offer.

Best of all – the portaloos stayed clean throughout the day, but – worst of all – there simply weren’t enough of them. The queues got a bit crazy, especially as people flocked to the loos every time there was a break in between sets, and women decided to use the men’s loos, which made the men’s queues almost as long as the women’s!

There were, fortunately, a bunch of urinals for the men, but they were all joined, meaning if you looked up, you locked eyes with the man at the other side. Further, the urinals were placed in front of the loos, which means that everyone in the queues, or just walking past, could see you doing your business.

The only other issue is that most of the food vendors were located by the other stage, which hardly attracted any patrons – and thus most of the vendors hardly got any customers. A lot of customers could not be bothered walking to the other area – the two areas were side-by-side but a wall was put up, forcing patrons to go on a trek, and the breaks in between sets hardly gave you enough time to get back in time (Kim Wilde took to the stage just after I returned with my expensive but delicious Caribbean oxtail – which is actually an ox’s tail!?). The only reason I walked to the other vendors is because there weren’t any gluten-free options by the main stage (other than halloumi fries, which I had already had for lunch).

However, for a brand-new music festival, Brit Fest went incredibly well. You don’t necessarily know what is or is not going to work until you do it. Add some more loos, get some urinals where you get to face away from the other men, put the urinals behind the loos, and rethink the food situation – and you’ve got yourself a winner!

The Brit Fest returns to Ashley Hall and Showground from July 4 to 6.

Photo: The Brit Fest